Ok not really. I mean, I wish the moles would die, because they're digging up the whole yard, and undermining the apple and peach trees, and appear to have significantly destabilized part of the bank at the lake... but in reality they're not going to die because I'm not going to poison them. Because (a) who wants to spread poison all over the yard, even though I really, really hate these moles, and (b) Betty and Moose delight in digging up the mole tunnels, and they have zero self preservation instincts and would no doubt eat the poison. So the moles won't die... but hopefully they will leave.
Unbeknownst to me, there is an enormous industry devoted to making moles leave. It mainly involves spreading castor oil pellets over your yard, which the moles hate, and then hoping they move it on along. The funny part of this is that there is major strategy to the delivery of the castor oil - you do it in sections in order to, and I quote the package, "herd the moles to the desired area." I mean seriously, isn't my life busy enough without herding moles?? But I'm trying to herd. It's like playing tetris - I'm slowly contaminating all of the areas where I don't want them with castor oil, with the idea that I'm going to push them out of my yard. Because they'll be so happy in the National Park Service property on the other side of the fence? One hopes.
My fingers are crossed that this works, because so far the only person here with a comprehensive mole eradication plan is Moose. He's diligently digging up all of the tunnels. Which looks great - both in my yard and on my dog.