Balance is an interesting topic to me. And I'm referring to life balance, not physical balance, although with the amount of yoga I've been doing lately that's a fairly interesting topic to me also. I read this blog recently, where the woman (who works a full time job, has a young child and also just ran the Olympic Marathon trials), pointed out that balance may be overrated - because it tends to mean you're doing ok at everything and not great at anything. And I thought YES, that's it exactly. In fact, at the risk of sounding like my mother-in-law-who's-a-therapist, I'd say it resonated with me. This winter has been kind of crazy - not crazy like last summer, which was Holy Shit My Dad is Dying and I Didn't See This Coming. I mean, that's legit crazy. But ever since then things have been crazy as in There Are a Thousand Things I'm Trying to Accomplish and I Can't Quite Figure Out How It's Happening. We've been renovating the house at the farm since my dad died, and are in the process of moving back, and selling our house near downtown Asheville, and maintaining a farm for the first time in decades (hello Swedish Divorce Ritual, and little pack of wild goats), and so things are a little out of my control. And I'll admit, I'm not great at that.
But interestingly enough, I've probably had more balance in my life than I have in a long time. Because the farm house *is* being renovated, and the herd of tiny goats is still alive, and our house is under contract, and my business has kept moving, and I'm still married. And - side effect of the crazy past 6 months - I'm doing more yoga than I ever have in my life, so that I don't lose my shit. (which'll definitely happen without it. Trust me.) But while everything's kind of working, nothing's working GREAT. The goats are alive but their fence is pretty shifty, my business is moving but not growing, the farm house is being renovated but we're living out of boxes and sleeping on mattresses on the floor. And I think this is actually the best case scenario right now - I couldn't exactly go all-in on any one of those things at the expense of another. They're all pretty important. But once the house situations settle down, I'm really looking forward to some tunnel vision for a while. I'm ready to batten down the hatches and lose all semblance of balance and make some things happen. If balance means everything's ok, focus means one or two things are great. And I'm ready for some great.